Following Your Purpose vs. the Real World

I have a feeling that I’m not at all alone in this but it has been very evident in my life as late.  As I strive to complete my doctorate in psychology in the coming weeks, I’m faced with the demands of money, making a living and all that stuff.  What’s rather ironic to me, is that I’m not looking to make a lot of money.  It’s not a pursuit that’s interesting to me.  Even if I did have it, I would put it to use to help others.  It seems sadly ironic to me that those who have it often, not always, keep it for themselves, hoard it and take as much as they can.  And those who have money rig the game of living so that they maintain their wealth while we scramble to make it day to day or week to week.

Like so many of you (probably), I have a large amount of student debt.  My goal and passion, to help others.  But what does this look like?  Well, I wish to work with people in therapy, plain and simple.  I work at a Buddhist Center at the moment and my hope is to support those who practice meditation, are Buddhist but most importantly, I want to help people who need it.  Families, couples and individuals…anyone who needs and wants support, which is so many of us.

I don’t see therapy as something that should be for those who can only afford it.  In fact, I see it as a staple like exercise.  But this is exercise for the mind, for the heart and in traveling along with someone as they figure out their purpose in life.  I’m of the belief that deep down, we all want to live our purpose.  Mine is that of a therapist.  The course of my life has built me this way, it is my karma or calling.  But in the face of my bills from school, like the rest of us, how do we go about this?  I can’t say that I know the answer…I wish I did and if I did this post would sound very different.

A fantasy of mine these days is that of having my student loan debt wiped out.  I don’t wish for anything extra because what’s important to me is going where I’m needed.  It may sound naive or cliche to some but this is my simple truth.  At personal risk I do this now…as best as I can.  Like you, there’s a great deal that I have to offer the world and it saddens me to see how my potential, your potential and the potential of so many others stifled by what we will all find meaningless at the moment of death…money.

Despite the moments where my mind tells me that things are hopeless, overwhelming or futile, my stubbornness and values will persist.  I’m going to continue to face the difficulty of paying the 300k debt in student loans and see if I can’t just make this work.  I have a feeling, though, that my success is dependent upon the success of those around me.  Working together to thrive, to figure out what it means to truly live a good life and how to support one another in doing this.  This is an ideal, one that I will hold on to and never regret.

I wish you well, each of you.  Everyone is in my heart and mind each day as I try to do better in my work, how I interact with others and in how I contribute to the world.  May you have comfort, be free from pain and difficulty.  May you see life clearly and be able to live authentically with a vulnerable and loving heart.

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